I realize now that whenever I 'fall' for someone it's not that person that I'm really feeling for. It's the concept that I love. The eventuality of being loved the hope that it's finally happened is what obsesses me. But what can I do about this? All I can do is take a strategy from the old addage of "there are plenty of fish in the sea" and just leave my bait in the water until something bites. I have to give up on everyone that I've put any effort into and make them friends. I have to accept that I have to have my friends set me up with more or less blind dates if I'm going to have any when I want them. It pains me to give up on my active search for romance for superficial BS but it's what I must do to get on with my life without screwing up perfectly good friendships. Hopefully this will keep my social needs met and some pointless dates will distract my emotions. Alas...farewell to my loves....for as soon as I reveal it you would be gone entirely.